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Posted on 08/6/2020 14:36 PM (Diocese of Duluth | Daily News)
Diocesan school officials, in communications sent out in mid-July, say that returning to school this fall is a top diocesan priority and that school leaders have been working to understand their options.
While the situation remains fluid, the goal is to open with in-person instruction, although students will experience new protocols and procedures recommended by state and federal health guidelines.
Officials say that school families had participated in a statewide survey organized through the Minnesota Catholic Conference, which included about 400 responses from the Diocese of Duluth. The feedback helped to analyze the distance learning that took place in the spring after schools across the state were closed by Gov. Tim Walz due to the COVID-19 pandemic. It was also helpful in planning for the next school year, which is fast approaching.
Planning for opening in person has meant working with comprehensive guidance and instruction in collaboration with other dioceses across the state and with recommendations from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and the Minnesota Department of Health, insurance companies, and more. It’s structured to allow individual schools to develop plans that make sense for their students, staff, and community.
Those plans will be communicated to families so they will know what school will look like for students in the fall, and with the caveat that the realities in a particular community can change things, with schools “toggling” between in-person instruction, distance learning, or a hybrid approach depending on the circumstances and what is safe at the time.
An example of how quickly things can change came with Gov. Walz’s executive order mandating masks in many indoor spaces, including K-12 schools, effective July 25.
Cynthia Zook, director of schools for the diocese, said that “is our most challenging protocol for our Catholic schools.”
“We are aware of the concern regarding our learning environment and child development — especially for our youngest students,” she said. “Working with the Walz administration to establish a more reasonable approach to mask wearing in our Catholic schools is a priority.”
She noted that Catholics schools in the Duluth Diocese are not as crowded as many of the public schools, allowing more confidence the schools could provide adequate social distancing.
“We are fine-tuning our policies to prepare for the start of a safe and healthy school year,” she said. “Together our vigilance and flexibility in confronting COVID-19 is the best path forward.”
Zook said teachers and principals are ready to welcome students back to their buildings “where students and staff can once again be together as a faith-filled learning community with Christ, the teacher.”
— By Deacon Kyle Eller / The Northern Cross
Posted on 07/16/2020 15:41 PM (Diocese of Duluth | Daily News)
Our families have emerged as many people’s primary community during the COVID-19 pandemic. This fits the family’s natural role in society, but the change has not been easy. Many families have experienced new challenges amid COVID-19.
Faith in the Public Arena
Single parents are now the sole providers of both their family’s income and children’s education. Low-income families, who already endure economic hardships, face uncertainty in a difficult job market. COVID-19 has accentuated the crisis of family instability, apparent in high rates of divorce and rising rates of single parenthood and perpetuated by a societal disinterest in the success of the family as a community.
To combat this crisis, we must look to policy examples that strengthen families, like changes recently enacted in Hungary, which led to higher rates of marriage, lower rates of divorce, and a drop in abortions. In a world shaken by change, we achieve stability and flourishing by empowering families to fulfill their purpose as communities of life and love.
The problem of broken families
In his apostolic exhortation “Familiaris Consortio,” Pope St. John Paul II reminds us of the family’s role as the foremost educator in society. He says, “The task of giving education is rooted in the primary vocation of married couples to participate in God’s creative activity: by begetting in love and for love a new person who has within himself or herself the vocation to growth and development, parents by that very fact take on the task of helping that person effectively to live a fully human life.”
Family formation is essential to the well-being of children, but not all receive this formation in its entirety. Almost a quarter of children in the United States live in a single-parent household. These children are more likely to commit suicide, become drug dependent, and perform below their peers in school.
In fact, while reading proficiency disparities exist among students of different races and ethnicities in Minnesota, research indicates that, for certain grades, the percentage of students proficient in reading matches almost identically to the percentage of two-parent households in each category. A child’s educational success cannot be accurately determined by race or ethnicity, but the data does show that children in two-parent households are more likely to succeed in school.
These disparities will only continue during COVID-19 as single parents, who relied on the school system, must now educate, supervise, and provide for their children all day. This is even more difficult for the 24 percent of single-parent households that live below the poverty line in Minnesota, compared to the four percent of impoverished households with married couples.
The most effective welfare mechanism is two married parents in a household. Marriage serves the good of the family, fosters the formation of children, and is essential for a flourishing society. When a man and a woman discern marriage, both public policy and society should encourage, not inhibit, their decision.
The family and society connected
To strengthen society, lawmakers should look to policies that encourage marriage and support families, like what was enacted in Hungary following reform in 2010.
With a declining population and a suffering economy, Hungary enacted policies that focused on the family. It provided home-purchasing subsidies for families with children, decreased taxes owed by families with children, and provided interest-free loans to married couples which they need not pay back after having three children.
It even codified its commitment to the family in its constitution, stating, “Hungary shall protect the institution of marriage as the union of a man and a woman established by voluntary decision, and the family as the basis of the nation’s survival.”
Hungary’s focus on families has led to marriages increasing by 84 percent, divorces decreasing by 29 percent, and abortions decreasing by one-third between 2010 and 2019.
By incentivizing marriage and supporting family stability, Hungary shows that family-focused policy makes a difference.
Recognizing the importance of marriage and the family unit will lead to a stable and flourishing society. The prosperity of society is tied to the health of each family, and by supporting public policy that upholds marriage and strengthens the family unit — the origin of development and virtue — we further the common good of all.
Jack Lawlis is Policy and Outreach Coordinator for the Minnesota Catholic Conference.
Posted on 07/10/2020 14:11 PM (Diocese of Duluth | Daily News)
By Deacon Kyle Eller
The Northern Cross
When a diocesan official asked him when he anticipated coming to the Diocese of Duluth, Bishop-elect Michel J. Mulloy said in a press conference that his first impulse was simple: “tomorrow.”
|Bishop-elect Michel Mulloy addresses the media outside of the diocesan Pastoral Center June 19 after his appointment as the next bishop of Duluth was announced. He currently serves as diocesan administrator for the Diocese of Rapid City, South Dakota. His ordination and installation in Duluth are being planned for Oct. 1. (Photo by Mary Rasch / For The Northern Cross)|
While other duties will prevent that immediate move, Bishop-elect Mulloy, currently serving as diocesan administrator for the Diocese of Rapid City, said that once he accepted the call to become the Diocese of Duluth’s next bishop, his heart already began moving here. After only a few hours, he said, he already felt welcome.
“I look forward to meeting everybody,” he said. “I look forward to getting to know the people of this diocese and the priests of this diocese, the deacons of this diocese, because it’s my new home; it’s where I belong. It’s where God has planted me for this part of my life.”
He said moving is something he’s used to, and the hard winters don’t daunt him.
“I learned a long time ago that you learn to love where you are and you learn to be happy where God places you,” he said. “So I’m not worried about that piece at all.”
A South Dakota native
Pope Francis’ appointment of Bishop-elect Mulloy for the Duluth Diocese was announced June 19 in Washington, D.C., by Archbishop Christophe Pierre, the Vatican nuncio to the United States. His episcopal ordination and installation have been set for Oct. 1.
Bishop-elect Mulloy, 67, is a native of Mobridge, South Dakota. He was ordained a priest for the Diocese of Sioux Falls, South Dakota, June 8, 1979, and incardinated into the Diocese of Rapid City in 1986 after being on loan to the diocese for a few years for parish ministry.
He was born May 20, 1953, to Silvin and Ethel Mulloy, joining one brother, Colin Dean, and two sisters, Madonna and Roxan. His older brother Llewellen died at birth. He grew up attending St. Joseph Catholic Church and the public school in Mobridge. His dad was a mechanic and car dealer, and his mother cared for the home and assisted her husband with bookkeeping.
In 1967, his mother died of an aneurysm. His father moved with Michel’s brother to Keystone, South Dakota, in the Black Hills in 1968, where he met and married Amelia (Babe) Cordes.
That same year, Michel entered the minor seminary at O’Gorman High School in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, as a sophomore. Michel attended what is now St. Mary’s University of Minnesota and Immaculate Heart of Mary Seminary in Winona. He graduated in 1975 with a bachelor of arts in classical humanities.
From 1975 to 1979, Michel attended St. Paul Seminary in St. Paul for theology, the archdiocese’s graduate-level seminary, which has graduated 33 other priests later ordained bishops, among them Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen, a candidate for sainthood.
After Bishop-elect Mulloy was ordained a priest of the Diocese of Sioux Falls in 1979, he served in parishes in both the Sioux Falls and Rapid City dioceses before being formally incardinated in the Rapid City Diocese. He has served as the Rapid City diocese’s vocations director and director of its Office of Worship. He has also served on its priests’ council, college of consultors, diocesan finance and pastoral councils, and the Sioux Spiritual Center Board of Directors.
In 2017, Bishop-elect Mulloy became the full-time vicar general of the diocese and returned to Rapid City. In 2019, he was elected diocesan administrator when Bishop Robert D. Gruss was named bishop of Saginaw, Michigan.
Bishop-elect Mulloy is close to his immediate family and his extended family with cousins living throughout the country. His brother Colin died in 2003. His father and stepmother also are also deceased. Colin’s two daughters and two granddaughters live in San Diego.
His sister Roxan lives in Rugby, North Dakota. She has two daughters and four grandchildren. His sister Madonna and her husband, Allen, live in Milliken, Colorado. They have two sons and a daughter and 14 grandchildren.
Connections to the Duluth Diocese
Bishop-elect Mulloy will succeed the late Bishop Paul Sirba, who died unexpectedly Dec. 1, 2019, and he said some of his first thoughts after he learned of the new assignment were of the late bishop, whose funeral he had attended.
“When I found out I was going to become the bishop, I went into the chapel in the chancery where I work, and one of the first people that came to my mind was Bishop Sirba,” he said. “And so I said, ‘I need you to help me.’ And I believe he heard that and he will. So I’m also honored to be following in his footsteps, because he truly was a wonderful, holy man.”
There are other connections, too. Father James Bissonette, diocesan administrator for the Diocese of Duluth, who introduced the new bishop-elect at the press conference, said the two of them had recently come to know each other better.
“Because of Bishop Sirba’s untimely death, the two of us went as diocesan administrators with the bishops of the province to Rome together,” Father Bissonette said. “So you might notice I use a cane, and I have cerebral palsy, and I yanked on his arm all the way through Rome last January. So luckily, fortuitously, gracefully, we know each other.”
“We’re very glad to have our bishop-elect, and one of these days we can drop the ‘elect’ and he’ll just be our bishop,” he added.
Bishop-elect Mulloy’s duties as diocesan administrator in the Diocese of Rapid City also bring a connection to Duluth, as that diocese is preparing for the ordination and installation of a Duluth priest, Bishop-elect Peter Muhich, on July 9.
Asked about what in effect works out to be an unusual “swap” between the two dioceses, Bishop-elect Mulloy said, “I think God has an enormous, wonderful sense of humor, that’s what I think.”
“You’re losing a good priest; I hope you’re getting a good one,” he added. “I think we’re getting a good bishop; I hope you’re getting one.”
He described the opportunity for ministry among Native Americans in the Diocese of Duluth another special connection between the two dioceses. The Rapid City Diocese, he said, has one of the largest populations of Native American Catholics in the United States, and there is a cause for canonization for one of them, Nicholas Black Elk, a catechist who led many people to the Catholic faith.
“There’s something very holy about Native American people that I’ve experienced or been around,” he said, adding that he was anxious to get to know the Native Americans in our area.
Father Bissonette, in delivering the news to the clergy of the diocese, said Bishop-elect Mulloy brings a wealth of both pastoral and administrative experience, having served in parishes from 1979 to 2017 and having served in many capacities for the Diocese of Rapid City since the late 1980s.
Archbishop Bernard Hebda of the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis, also welcomed the news.
“I have come to know him in his great work as diocesan administrator of the Diocese of Rapid City and am confident that he will be a faithful servant and shepherd to the people of northeastern Minnesota, building on the ministry of Bishop Paul Sirba,” Archbishop Hebda said.
“I very much look forward to collaborating with him as he joins the bishops of our state,” he added.
In the Diocese of Rapid City, Chancellor Margaret Simonson said in a message to the faithful that Bishop-elect Mulloy had left a legacy there.
“The Lord has blessed this diocese abundantly through Father Mulloy’s priestly ministry,” she wrote. “Throughout his 40 years of priesthood he has been an integral part of our presbyterate and left a faith-filled impression on the parishioners that he served. He will be greatly missed; however, the people of the Diocese of Duluth will gain a faithful and joyful shepherd. Today is a day of great joy for all of us but especially for the people of the Diocese of Duluth.”
Catholic News Service and Maria Weiring of The Catholic Spirit, newspaper of the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis, contributed to this report.
Posted on 07/6/2020 12:20 PM (Diocese of Duluth | Daily News)
Mercy — both receiving it and granting it — is among the sweetest of human experiences, and of course it is at the very heart of the Gospel.
|Deacon Kyle Eller
The word itself as used in Scripture and in our faith is rich in meaning. We often speak of mercy as a matter of forgiveness of sins, but it is that and more. It’s also the corporal works of mercy, like feeding the hungry and visiting the sick and imprisoned. It’s also the spiritual works of mercy, like counseling the doubtful and comforting those sorrowing and forgiving and bearing wrongs patiently.
God’s mercy for us is like this. That one term embraces his forgiveness of our sins and his meeting of our needs and his caring for us in our distress and his loving presence in our lives. The late Bishop Paul Sirba’s beautiful description of mercy — “God’s love where we’re hurting” — is so beautiful because it enfolds that whole reality in the true context, God’s unfathomable love for us meeting our misery.
Psalm 85, as we pray it in the Liturgy of the Hours, speaks of God’s mercy and saving help this way: “Mercy and faithfulness have met; justice and peace have embraced.”
Who doesn’t treasure the experience of this? When I am finally able to forgive some hurt I’ve experienced, when I receive someone’s forgiveness for a wrong I’ve committed, when I am unexpectedly pulled from “another fine mess” I’ve gotten myself into, when some old grudge is brought out into the open and reconciliation begins, when I finally understand someone’s point of view that had eluded me, when I finally feel like I’m understood, when I’m in need and I learn a friend has been praying for me, when I see someone struggling and lend a hand, and in many similar moments, I experience not just freedom and relief from a suffering alleviated but the joy of God’s loving presence. I really feel touched by his love, with all the gratitude and joy that accompanies it.
These last months have, in an intense way, involved human misery in myriad forms. That should be an invitation. Pope St. John Paul II, in his letter on the Christian meaning of suffering, said there is a vast “world” of suffering with both personal and collective meanings, but which calls for solidarity.
“People who suffer become similar to one another through the analogy of their situation, the trial of their destiny, or through their need for understanding and care, and perhaps above all through the persistent question of the meaning of suffering,” he wrote. “Thus, although the world of suffering exists ‘in dispersion,’ at the same time it contains within itself a singular challenge to communion and solidarity.”
In other words, it calls for mercy, for God’s love where we’re hurting.
Sadly, that seems to be the last thing on many minds. Or if there is mercy, it is too often a cheap mercy, a willingness to forgive and excuse and address the suffering of ourselves and those we already love while reserving none for those perceived as enemies.
In some cases, this may be more or less explicit, where reconciliation and forgiveness are directly repudiated as goals. More often, it’s implicit in the way we act, ascribing the worst possible motives to people based on the smallest deviation from the party line, enforced with public denunciation; online and in-person mobs; and personal, social, economic, and sometimes legal shunning.
More and more, people give no quarter, apparently lacking the humility to entertain the possibility they could make a mistake or the imagination to consider how someone might disagree with them in good faith.
This is not new, of course. One of the parables of Jesus I find most haunting is the unmerciful servant, who is forgiven a massive debt but then goes and attacks a fellow servant who owes him a pittance. It’s such an easy trap to fall into.
But it seems to me that, barring a merciful divine intervention, upon which we have no right to presume but for which we may rightly beg, there is no hopeful future for a society that abandons mercy and reconciliation on a broad scale. How can we go on this way?
Be that as it may, among followers of Jesus, who commanded forgiveness and mercy and love of our enemies, it must not be so. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.
May our little leaven leaven the whole loaf with the mercy we need — God’s love where we’re hurting.
Deacon Kyle Eller is editor of The Northern Cross. Reach him at [email protected].
Posted on 06/19/2020 05:17 AM (Diocese of Duluth | Daily News)
Pope Francis has appointed Father Michel J. Mulloy, from the Diocese of Rapid City, South Dakota, to be the 10th bishop of the Diocese of Duluth, it was announced today.
|Bishop-elect Michel Mulloy|
Bishop-elect Mulloy was born May 20, 1953, in Mobridge, South Dakota, and was ordained a priest for the Diocese of Sioux Falls, South Dakota, in 1979. He served parishes in both the Sioux Falls and Rapid City dioceses before being incardinated formally in the Rapid City diocese in 1986. He has spent most of his priestly ministry serving in parishes until his appointment full-time as vicar general of the Rapid City Diocese in 2017 and his subsequent election in 2019 as diocesan administrator after Rapid City’s bishop was transfered to another diocese.
Among other roles in the Diocese of Rapid City, Bishop-elect Mulloy has served as vocations director and director of the Office of Worship, as well as serving on the presbyteral council, the College of Consultors, the diocesan finance and pastoral councils, and the Sioux Spiritual Center Board of Directors.
His episcopal ordination and installation have been set for Thursday, Oct. 1.
Bishop-elect Mulloy will succeed the late Bishop Paul Sirba, who died unexpectedly on Dec. 1, 2019.
Posted on 06/17/2020 11:38 AM (Diocese of Duluth | Daily News)
Father James Bissonette, diocesan administrator, has announced the following clergy assignments, effective (unless otherwise noted) July 15, 2020.
Father Peter Muhich, rector of the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Rosary, St. Mary Star of the Sea, and Our Lady of Mercy, Duluth, has been named bishop-elect of the Diocese of Rapid City. He will be installed July 9.
Father Paul Strommer, parochial vicar of the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Rosary, St. Mary Star of the Sea, and Our Lady of Mercy, Duluth, to administrator of St. Joseph, Chisholm, and Sacred Heart, Buhl.
Father Anthony Wroblewski, pastor of St. Francis, Brainerd; All Saints, Baxter; and St. Thomas of the Pines, Brainerd, to administrator of the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Rosary, St. Mary Star of the Sea, and Our Lady of Mercy, Duluth.
Father Ryan Moravitz. pastor of St. Lawrence, Holy Family, and St. Joseph, Duluth, to administrator of St. Francis, Brainerd; All Saints, Baxter; and St. Thomas of the Pines, Brainerd. He remains vocation director.
Father Elias Gieske, pastor of St. Joseph, Crosby; St. Joseph, Deerwood; Holy Family, Hillman; and Our Lady of Fatima, Garrison, to administrator of St. Lawrence, Holy Family, and St. Joseph, Duluth.
Father Anthony Craig, pastor of St. Joseph, Chisholm, and Sacred Heart, Buhl, administrator of St. Joseph, Crosby; St. Joseph, Deerwood; Holy Family, Hillman; and Our Lady of Fatima, Garrison. He remains assistant to the Marriage, Family, and Life Office.
Father Blake Rozier, pastor of Immaculate Heart, Crosslake, and St. Emily, Emily, to administrator of St. Joseph, Grand Rapids, and St. Augustine, Cohasset.
Father Drew Braun, pastor of St. John, Duluth, and St. Joseph, Gnesen, to administrator of Immaculate Heart, Crosslake, and St. Emily, Emily.
Father Seth Gogolin, pastor of St. Joseph, Grand Rapids, and St. Augustine, Cohasset, to administrator of St. John, Duluth, and St. Joseph, Gnesen.
Father Matthew Miller to parochial vicar of the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Rosary, St. Mary Star of the Sea, and Our Lady of Mercy, Duluth.
Posted on 05/23/2020 14:35 PM (Diocese of Duluth | Daily News)
Announcement of a New Executive Order
May 23, 2020
Saturday of the Sixth Sunday of Easter
Dear Faithful and Clergy of the Diocese of Duluth,
I wish to let you know of an important breakthrough in our state that will allow for greater worship opportunities for all people of faith. This breakthrough is consistent with our need, as Catholics, to both protect public health and to gather together to pray. Concern for the common good and concern for the faith lives of believers are concerns that we share.
In a few days, Governor Walz will issue a new executive order that allows faith communities to publicly worship inside using 25% of their church up to 250 people. Public worship outside the church is allowed up to 250 people, as well. This order will take effect beginning Wednesday, May 27.
Governor Walz and his administration hope that when faith communities gather, they will do so consistent with public health guidance. We will endeavor to do this by being mindful of the state’s recommendations as we dovetail them with our own Diocese of Duluth COVID-19 Protocols.
The Catholic bishops of Minnesota believe that the prior rules limiting faith-based gatherings to ten people unreasonably burdened the liberty of the Church to bring Mass and the sacraments to the faithful. Because we believe that the Eucharist is the bread of everlasting life and the source and summit of our faith, we were prepared to move ahead and allow larger Masses without support from public officials. The life of faith was receiving unequal treatment, as allowances were made for other, less essential activities. The new executive order removes that unreasonable burden on the Church and allows us to celebrate and receive the Eucharist.
I would like to express my gratitude to Governor Walz, Lieutenant Governor Flanagan, and the other members of the governor’s administration. I am thankful we could come to a consensus about a reasonable and safe path forward that allows greater numbers of people of faith to safely return to public worship.
The bishops of Minnesota are also grateful for the help of the Becket Fund for Religious Liberty which provided sound legal counsel in defense of the liberty of the Church to offer the sacraments, especially in our conversations with the Walz Administration. Thank you also to the law firm Sidley Austin for its work on this matter.
Although we had previously announced that a broader participation in public Mass could begin May 26, we need to move that back one day to May 27. This is to allow the executive order raising the allowed capacity for gatherings to go into effect. We will also make small adjustments to our protocols consistent with the guidance that will be issued by the Minnesota Department of Health. We can be thankful that the removal of the limitations will allow us to have Mass in the Easter season and come together on Sunday, May 31 for the celebration of Pentecost.
Going forward, as a reminder, the bishops of Minnesota have told our pastors and faithful that they should only return to public Mass when they are able to follow the protocols. Parishes should only open when they are able to implement the protocols. Again, if the faithful feel safer at home, the dispensation from the obligation to attend Sunday Mass remains lifted. We also strongly encourage those over the age of 65 or who are especially vulnerable not to attend for now.
Let me express my gratitude to our priests, their parish staffs and our Diocesan Pastoral Center staff. Our priests have been on the front lines of the pandemic — ministering to the sick in their homes, hospitals, and care facilities.
Finally, let me express my thanks to you, the faithful of the Diocese of Duluth. While unable to receive the Eucharist — the real presence of the Body and Blood of Jesus — for the past two months, you have creatively and patiently found ways to attend Mass online and to learn about and live your faith. You have made spiritual communions, supported your sisters and brothers in need, supported your parish, and stepped-up to help others. I encourage you to continue these efforts on behalf of those who must remain at home while desiring to be with us in church. Their prayers are special graces for us.
Please remember to pray for all those who have lost their lives in this pandemic, for those who grieve them, and for those who are sick and care for them. Also pray for the women and men in the health care field who daily risk their health to take care of our sisters and brothers who are sick. May our prayers also bring a swift end to this pandemic.
May God bless you and your families as we look forward to a return to broader worship until that day when all our people can return to Mass in our churches.
Yours in Christ,
Very Reverend James B. Bissonette
Posted on 05/20/2020 17:01 PM (Diocese of Duluth | Daily News)
Father James Bissonette, diocesan administrator, issues the following statement in conjunction with a letter he and the bishops of Minnesota released today regarding broader public celebration of Mass:
It is the teaching of our Catholic faith that we follow just laws and, whenever possible, work in harmony with civil leaders. Out of love of God and love of neighbor, as a church we have supported and responsibly carried out the reasonable restrictions Governor Walz has put in place over these past few months. At the same time, our highest allegiance is to God (Acts 5:29, Mark 12:17). We hold that the Church has a fundamental right according to our teachings and according to the Constitution to offer the worship we owe to God. We believe the worship of God is essential to a fully human and spiritual life. For Catholics, this worship is centered above all in the celebration of the Mass. For the common good, in consultation with experts and public officials, we will take cautious and gradual steps to safely reopen the public celebration of the Mass. As we do this, I ask everyone to continue to pray for and care for all affected by the pandemic. I also ask that we pray for the civil authorities tasked with difficult decisions in these challenging days.
Posted on 05/18/2020 10:53 AM (Diocese of Duluth | Daily News)
I am wondering how much I can be vulnerable with people. I have been able to tell some key people in my life about struggles of mine, but when can I tell others?
Thank you very much for writing. As I see it, based on the rest of your letter, there are two issues at work here.
|Father Michael Schmitz
Ask Father Mike
The first is your very good question about when to be vulnerable with others. In my years of working with young people, I find this is a lesson that is often learned the hard way. It usually goes something like this: A young person makes a connection with another young person and they become “instant friends.” Because this might be the first new friend they have ever had (all other friends are either family members or people they have known for their entire life), this relationship has a lot of new elements that those other relationships don’t. For example, those other relationships are close because of the very nature of the relationship. A situation in which a group of cousins who have been raised together doesn’t require that each cousin “bare their soul” to the others in order to have a solid friendship. What is more, when they do reach a point in their lives where they share deeper things, there is a history and a knowledge to guide that process.
And this is the missing piece. In a relationship that has just started, it is necessary to reveal things about yourself to the other. That is one of the key ways two people get to know each other. And yet, since they are still getting to know each other, they do not know the degree to which they can trust each other. And herein lies the problem: In order to be known, I have to reveal myself. But in order to know the depth to which self-revelation is wise, I need to know if I can trust the other person.
The solution? Patience.
Every one of us has had to learn that just because we have bonded with another person over sports, comic books, or even God, that doesn’t mean that we can trust another person with our heart. We want to be known. We want to know the other person. And there can be, at the start of a friendship, a certain urgency to share. But if we have ever made that mistake, we know that real wisdom in this situation demands slowing down and being wise. We have learned that trust has to be earned.
I want to repeat that: Trust must be earned.
How can you be vulnerable with people? By naturally sharing some things and seeing how the others respond. Do they honor those things you have shared? Do they fail to respond well to them? Over time, do they demonstrate that the are a “friend for a moment” and “friend for a season,” or a “friend for a lifetime”? That can only be known over the course of time. They truly have to prove themselves. And you will have to prove yourself as well.
Some might think that this is incorrect. They might claim that friendship ought to be freely given. I disagree. Love can be freely given. A person might not have to prove themselves in order to be loved. But we are not talking about whether or not someone is “worth loving.” We are talking about whether or not someone is worth trusting. The fact is, many people do not deserve your trust and being vulnerable. They have to prove themselves.
Now, onto the second part of your question.
You mentioned in your letter that the issues you are talking about are things that you struggle with. You further clarified that you’ve brought these things to confession and have shared these with close family members and a couple of select friends.
My question to your question is: Why does anyone else need to know?
I would imagine that this primarily comes from the (good) desire to be known. We all have this. It is the recognition that we are made for relationship. And in real relationship, there is a certain depth of self-revelation and “knowing” the other person. So it makes sense that you would want to share these things in order to be known more deeply.
But the issue as I see it is that you have “identified with” these actions or with the shame attached to these actions to such a degree that they are what you want to share, as if they are your true self.
But that is not true. You are not your sin. You are not your shame.
Of course, you might want to share these with others so that you can be reassured that you can share your shame and still be loved, but you have already done that with important people and with God. And they still love you. God still loves you. Why are you still carrying your shame? Jesus has already forgiven you, he does not want you to torture yourself over what he has already suffered in order to forgive you and set you free.
You are not disqualified from God’s love. You are not your shame. You can share it with those who have proven themselves worthy, but you can also leave it at the foot of the cross.
Father Michael Schmitz is director of youth and young adult ministry for the Diocese of Duluth and chaplain of the Newman Center at the University of Minnesota Duluth.
Posted on 05/15/2020 12:54 PM (Diocese of Duluth | Daily News)
I almost always write my columns a couple of months in advance of their being printed. As I sit at my computer writing this column for the May edition of The Northern Cross, it happens to be late March, and although it is spring, it feels like we are in the depths of the cold winter, not because of the weather but because of COVID-19.
|Father Richard Kunst
Everybody is in their houses, the streets are quiet, businesses are shut down, and there is a lot of anxiety and fear in the United States and the world. I am hoping by the time you are reading this that things are much improved and that we have this virus contained, but right now, even in secular media I am hearing about stories of the end times. I have had more than a few people ask me about this subject in light of the pandemic, and how the world is reacting to it, so although by May we hope this is all contained, it seems there’s no better time to look at what the church teaches about the end of the world.
First we have to set one important thing straight when it comes to the “end times”: It is not a bad thing. In fact it is a great thing!
Right now we live in a world of pain, suffering, fear, loss, and sadness, so if we are afraid of the “end times” or what we might call the second coming of Christ, then we must like to suffer.
Every part of the Christian message is a message of hope and joy. Towards the end of the book of Revelation, we get a glimpse of just how great things will be at the end of the world as we know it: “Then I saw a new heavens and a new earth. The former heavens and the former earth had passed away …. This is God’s dwelling among men. He shall dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and he shall be their God who is always with them. He shall wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, crying out or pain, for the former world has passed away. The one who sat on the throne said to me, ‘See, I make all things new!’” (Rev. 21:1,3-5a). Does that sound like something we should be afraid of? No, we should greatly anticipate it!
Now to be fair, fear comes as a result of the unknown, and although Scripture gives us every reason to be filled with hope and joy, it does not give us great details about how the end will come about, and that is where fear can creep in. Another thing that might cause some to fear is what Jesus says in the 24th chapter of Matthew’s Gospel, where he warns about signs that will accompany the start of the end times, such as wars, famines, earthquakes, persecutions, and great tribulations.
Although all of those things sound very scary, they happen all the time! Turn on the evening news and you will see that all those things Jesus warns about are happening on a regular basis in various parts of the world. The point, then, is not to look for signs, but just to be prepared.
So is COVID-19 or the coronavirus one of the signs of the end? Who knows? Jesus says something rather surprising in the Gospel of Mark as to when it will happen, “As to the exact day or hour, no one knows it, neither the angels in heaven nor even the Son, but only the Father. Be constantly on the watch! Stay awake! You do not know when the appointed time will come” (Mark 13: 32-33). God the Son said in his human nature, not even he knows (he is of course omniscient in his divine nature), so why would anyone think they know or even guess that the current pandemic is a sign of the end times?
If we read the earliest writings in the New Testament, such as some of Paul’s letters, in particular First Thessalonians, we see that there was an unhealthy preoccupation on the second coming of Christ and the end of the world. The earliest Christians expected it to happen at any moment, and certainly in their lifetime. As a result, many of them stopped their livelihood and changed everything to be prepared for the end.
We might say that was a bit unbalanced and unhealthy, but we live in a world that is equally unhealthy. Before this pandemic (and even now) people live as if the second coming or the end of the world will never come. That is maybe even more problematic than thinking the end is right upon us.
The current pandemic is nothing like anyone alive has ever seen, and we hope the next one will be many centuries from now, but that does not mean it is a sign of the end of the world. Jesus gives the best advice when he said, “Be constantly on the watch.” We should always be ready to meet our maker, whether it is our own personal end or the end of the world.
And if we are always prepared, then we should greatly anticipate it, because God himself said there would be no pain or suffering in the world he makes new. So bring it on!
Father Richard Kunst is pastor of St. James and St. Elizabeth in Duluth. Reach him at [email protected]